Because we aren’t either all bad or all good, the abusive person is often loving in other ways. These strengths don’t make up for the abuse, but they are part of what makes admitting that this person is abusive so difficult. Admitting that they are abusive must mean that they are a monster. Could we really have shared special moments with a monster we wonder. This is the point when we rationalize that the abusive person is damaged. As their partner, we see how hurt they reall